News from the Golden Age
By The Captain on May 3, 2012
After many delays and much ballyhoo, it’s finally available on Amazon Kindle. It’ll trickle out to the other vendors as the files run thru the various processes.
Well, Nate – Double Share showed up on my Amazon recommendations. I wrestled with providing any form of funds to Ridan but in the end decided that providing YOU with funds carried more weight. After finding the number of typos, grammar issues, etc. that I did – I’m even more opposed to Ridan than ever.
Aside from the date/time issues noted by others, and the lack of periods at the end of sentences ending with quotation marks throughout the document, and extraneous commas too numerous to count, here’s what I found. Perhaps you can correct them at some point. . (Where it’s an possible style issue, I didn’t list it.)
All location markers are based on Kindle locations.
Location 230 of 4993: “The reservations for 19:00…” I believe you mean “The reservation’s for 19:00…”
Location 270: “I was getting sloppy and slightly adjusted my back knee a bit more.” I suspect the “slightly” is extraneous.
Location 285: “We moved faster until I pushed and he wasn’t there, rocked back…” should probably have a subject or be two sentences. “We moved faster until I pushed and he wasn’t there. I rocked back…”
Location 352: “… bridge games providing a homely – and sometimes not so quiet backdrop.” Needs a second dash, “… bridge games providing a homely – and sometimes not so quiet – backdrop.”
Location 375: “… calligraphic embossing,” Calligraphy is a writing style, embossing is a production technique for raised letters. As it’s a list, I would think it should read: “… scarlet seal, calligraphy, embossing, and…”
Location 417: You use the word “banquettes.” A banquette has a number of meanings, including a platform in a trench for soldiers to fire from or an upholstered bench along a wall. But none of them would fit when describing a counter or table “behind which stern-faced inspectors in rubber gloves waited.”
Location 449: “My tablet linked into the Station-Net without any problems, so I could access ship movements, station events, and the normal access to message traffic.” Access is redundant and could be simply cleaned up by saying “and normal message traffic.”
Location 472: “Without his id number” is incorrect usage. Identification when abbreviated is ID. (This shows up in multiple places.)
Location 511: In describing the DST fleet you say that, of the dozen ships, a third were tankers and the rest bulk ore and grain haulers. So what is the Tinker that it hauls a container with machine parts, farm equipment, etc.? This is compounded at location 520, where you describe the cargo types – some of which are not liquids, bulk grain, or ore.
Location 661: “I was glad not to be relishing my sanctuary.” I believe you mean “relinquishing.”
Location 685: “… including the ships layout on your tablet.” Needs a comma: “… including the ships layout, on your tablet.”
Location 1272: “… they only say something about getting underway after the appropriate section and division have been given” needs a noun, e.g. “… they only say something about getting underway after the appropriate section and division reports have been given.”
Location 1293: “Davies, who was already starting to clear the board looked startled…” Needs a comma, so it reads “Davies, who was already starting to clear the board, looked startled…”
Location 1301: A general nit (and you of all people should know better). Ish knows the speakers around the ship are calling the crew “to quarters.” That should be to navigation stations – a call to quarters is a bugle call to tell soldiers to return to their barracks. At sea, General Quarters means battle stations.
Location 1342: “We were climbing up, perpendicular to the plane of the ecliptic to carve the shortest path to the Burleson limit as possible.” Shouldn’t that read, “… the shortest path to the Burleson limit possible.”
Location 1427, Ish is speaking. “Yeah I didn’t…” Needs a comma, “Yeah, I didn’t…”
Same location, same problem, where the sentence starts “Honestly I never thought…”
Location 1604, after the Captain realizes the coffee is good, “It seems Mr. Vorhees as resolved the coffee issue” should probably be “has” instead of “as.”
Location 2002, Ish is describing his watch routine. “Why somethings get done a particular way…” should read “Why some things get done a particular way…”
Location 2060. “At the same time I had believing this guy had been an engineering spec one.” Not quite sure what you’re saying here – Ish had a hard time believing it? An easy time believing it? Could go either way in context.
Location 2084: “… I gave him what I hoped was a re-assuring smile.” Reassuring, no hyphen necessary.
Location 2099: “I was about half a stan into the program when I heard somebody else come in, looking over my should I saw Nart limbering up on the rowing machine.” The run-on sentence could be easily cleaned up: “I was about half a stan into the program when I heard somebody else come in. Looking over my shoulder I saw Nart limbering up on the rowing machine.”
Location 2131: You use “qi” to describe Ish focusing on the life energy. Everywhere else you use “chi.” Granted, they’re the same word, just spelled differently. But for consistency I’d suggest using “chi” everywhere.
Location 2200: “Like you helped, Ulla, this morning?” If the speaker were addressing Ulla, this would be correct. In this context, the comma before the name is incorrect.
Location 2251: “She just wants a ride to the beach and doesn’t even a ride back.” I’m guessing you’re missing “She just wants a ride to the beach and doesn’t even want (or need?) a ride back.”
Location 2305: “I did stumble a little at the bottom where she was waiting and caught me by the arm.” Could go either way, but it would seem clearer as “I did stumble a little at the bottom where she was waiting, and she caught me by the arm.”
Location 2337: “That’s illegal too, but if you walked away and something happened. If it came out that you’d been there and done nothing, then they take your ticket.” Multiple issues in this one, but I’m presuming that you mean something like: “That’s illegal, too, but if you walked away and something happened and it came out that you’d been there and done nothing, then they would take your ticket.”
Location 2358: “Did she do everything all this afternoon?” The “all” is unnecessary.
Location 3628: “Burnside hadn’t said more than absolutely required to change watches, glaring at me but didn’t attempt another “reprimand” Perhaps “Burnside hadn’t said more than absolutely required to change watches, glaring at me, but he didn’t attempt…?”
Location 3849: “… I probably wouldn’t be standing another OOD watch until we got back to Diurnia.” Given that Ish is going to stand watch throughout the voyage, and is discussing the extra liberty trading duty would give him, perhaps this should be: “… I probably wouldn’t be standing another in-port OOD watch until we departed for Diurnia.” Or, “… headed back to Diurnia.”
Location 3915. “Not sorry that I’d asked, not, but still a bit regretful.” Should “not” be “no?”
Location 3938: “You’ve been associating with Ms. D’Heng, haven’t you!” In context, this is a question, not an exclamation.
Location 4559: Fredi says ‘I’m sorry that sounds very fishy to me” Is she really apologizing for Apones story sounding fishy? Perhaps: “I’m sorry, but that sounds very fishy to me.”
Location 4993: Ish has just crawled into bed. “… even though I knew it was only for a little while, thoroughly enjoyed it.” Missing a noun on that last part, “I thoroughly enjoyed it.”
Location 4723: The Captain has just taken precedence. “… but to jump to ahead of the ambulance line, that was just low.” Suggest you remove the “to” in front of “ahead.” Or make it “to jump to the head/front of the ambulance line…”
Location 4771: Maloney is relieving Rosset. “I hereby relieve Captain Leon Rosset of his duty as Captain by my authority of the owner…” Should be “as the owner.”
Location 4795: “id” instead of “ID” again.
Location 4820: “id” instead of “ID” again.
Location 4924: in your end notes, “no where” instead of “nowhere” when describing Ish’s origins.
I’m sure there are a few typos in this list, as well – but then, I’m not a professional copy editor.
And just as a question – is the cover the Tinker going way from the viewer? It’s a beautiful picture, but I can’t see a bridge. Perhaps in the printed version?
The artist took a few liberties with the ship, including the visibility of the bridge.
That’s actually looking at the starboard bow quarter.
IIRC, Double Share is the book that has me on the Billy. I should definitely get a print copy…
Just finished the book and really enjoyed it. The only thing is is I wish the books were longer. Every book so far has only taken me about two days to complete. This is around sleeping, eating, watching tv and some video games.
Got it. Read it. Loved it.
I was disappointed by the quality of the proofreading, but I got over it.
So… ahem… not to rush you or anything… but when’s the next one coming out?
Annnd, two copies purchased, one for me, one as a gift. (Never mind that I’m skint this month, Damn the budget, this is IMPORTANT!)
Just finished with Double Share after re-reading the first three books, and thoroughly enjoyed the story. I can’t wait for the rest.
I have to agree with others about how horrendous the editing from Ridan is. Unfortunately, the blatant mistakes pulled me out of the story over and over again, which diminished my enjoyment of your story immeasurably from what it should have been.
I am not an editor or writer, and I can usually overlook mistakes in a book pretty easily.
In the case of Double Share I actually wanted to put away my Nook and open up my computer’s ebook editor and correct the errors as I was reading it (this goes for Full Share too, I forgot just how bad the editing was there as well).
Is this the type of impression you want your readers to have while they are reading your books? Ridan is doing you a huge disservice on so many levels.
I sure hope the paper version gets corrected before it gets printed…
LOVED IT! But if I have to wait just as long for the next one, I think I’ll go bonkers. Please hurry!!
Is it weird that I substitute the correct words from the audiobook version when I’m reading the Nook copy?
Loved Double Share and the first three in the Solar Clipper series as well. Can’t wait to read the next two books in the series. Any idea when we might get a chance to read those, Captain?
I just turned the first round of edits for Captain’s Share in to the publisher.
Read DS in two days, could not put it down, absolutely loved it. Awesome work Skipper. Now another long haul until the next installment /sigh.
captain, i speak only for myself here.
Can Ridan be anymore of a hindrance to readability.
Do they have something against proper editing?
I am only a high school graduate but the lack of understanding of syntax is appalling. Nevertheless, loved the story, i am anxiously awaiting anything else you care to release.
I am somewhat confused. Amazon is now listing Captain’s Share in paper with a proposed 9/1 date and Owner’s Share with an October date. Only paper and so far no kindle. I thought that Ridan did Not allow preorders? Is this really going to happen? Tell me true because I will only believe you and then I can start jumping for joy.
Those are Ridan dates and actually I think Captain’s Share is wrong, but when I talked to Ridan last weekend at BaltiCon October 1 was the date we agreed on for Owner’s Share release. Note that I’ve sent my first round of edits to them already for Captain’s Share and I’m waiting for the next round to come back from them.
I didn’t realize they could “pre-order” now but apparently they found a way through the maze – at least for paper.
Note that we’ll *always* release ebooks with the paperbacks.That they’re not listed in the kindle store may simply be a function of the funky pre-order rules.
Thank You. It sounds like Robin listened to your many fans and is expediting the Share Books. I have now officially started jumping for joy.
Nathan, thank you! A wonderful series that I’m thoroughly enjoying. I do hope the others can be sped up! I’ve been successful so far at not listening to the podios!
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
Please don't feel obligated but a week doesn't go by without somebody writing to ask where this button is.
Switch to our mobile site